Graduation Reflections- I'm a failure and that is great!

WOW! What a ride that was! 

Yesterday I graduated from McMaster University, and earned an Honours Bachelor of Music. It was a difficult three years, to say the least, but I am grateful for the struggle. I can confidently say, Hi my name is Ailish Corbett, BFA, B.Mus, I'm a bad ass violinist and violist! 

This degree taught me how to fail.

You see, before my time at McMaster as a music student, I was a Fine Arts student. That is right, I currently hold not one, but two degrees. I also have a Bachelor of Fine Art. 

I am extremely fortunate to have studied Fine Art at McMaster, it was a difficult program, but the visual arts have always come naturally to me. Ever since I was a child, I had a natural gift for the visual arts. With this natural talent, I was able to almost… sail my way through university.

Don’t get me wrong, I put in a lot of effort into my classes, however I never received a mark lower then an A- I excelled in my fine art classes and I rocked every Art History paper I wrote. I was a very confident artist. I graduated Summa Cum Laude, and received many scholarships during my time in the BFA program.

My music degree however, well that was a rude awakening. I went into the program unprepared,  I barely passed the theory entrance test, and my audition was quite rocky. I was paired with a violin teacher that I did not get along with. I came very close to failing a class that year, and remember in my previous university experience, I had never even received a low mark. I took this failure very personally, and it launched me into a pretty deep depression. It was not a good year, I considered dropping out many, many times. 

My second year of the program went a little bit better, but I still was not receiving the high marks I was used to. I felt a little better. I found out that regular exercise, some really beneficial sessions with the fantastic occupational therapist at the Musicians Clinic of Canada, paired with REALISTIC academic expectations was the key to success in my program.

Midway through my second year and into my third, I was lucky enough to discover alternative performance opportunities. I was beginning to find my musical voice so to speak. I found out that I LOVED to perform with bands, something I had never even considered I could do as a classically trained violist. I love to groove and dance on stage, and to improvise. I rarely play the same things twice anymore, and this approach to music performance really feeds into my creativity. Things started to fall into place for me very quickly. Gigs kept coming my way, students wanted to learn from me, and my academic abilities flourished because I was trying harder, and accepting that it didn't matter how high my marks were. All I needed to do was to learn and grow as a musician, and to accept that I couldn't be perfect! 

I am so happy that I didn’t drop out of the music program. I am happy that I struggled. I am grateful for the tough times. I feel accomplished and resilient, Hard work, a positive attitude, seeking help and discovering the benefits of deliberate practice, and the ability to fail really hard earned me this degree! 

Musically yours,

Ailish Corbett 

Ailish Corbett holding her B.Mus degree aloft while screaming in triumph!